Got any...
"Right now, there’s a child somewhere who is learning for the first time that they are different from other people." - The first line of that book I promised to write...
The five:
  1. I was a terrible math student (the act of solving a math problem ties my stomach in knots), but apparently math makes life beautiful, and few people have understood this better than Alan Turing 💰. In fact, we’re still learning from the observations he made years ago. If you’re really into math and you’ve been wondering what Stephen Hawkings’s final paper means, here’s an explanation. Speaking of math, here’s how to calculate whether you should rent or buy. We’ve got a lot of genius here in bullet #1, but the “mad genius” is a myth, though. 
  2. There are lies we tell ourselves, and there are lies we tell others. Here are the five lies we love to tell. Speaking of playing tricks on the mind, here are some psychological tricks that will make your marriage happier. Also, “one reason we struggle with fear is that we’re simultaneously too primitive and too evolved for our own good.” Greeeeaaaat. Then there are those people who seem to be incredibly evolved and have incredible drive. But there’s a dark side to drive. Also, there’s apparently a dark side to the “Yanny v. Laurel” recording, like why it means we’ll all die alone
  3. Introverts aren’t anti-social or lazy, and we’re getting them all wrong. As someone who spends a great deal of time with myself, I find this comforting. I also find this piece comforting, because it addresses something we loners always fear: what to do if you’re alone and choking. Speaking of home alone, do you have an open floor plan? We’re cursed by it, apparently
  4. One state is showing how the solution to the opioid epidemic works. Meanwhile, there is a burnout crisis in American medicine, and after you read this piece you’ll understand why. It turns out there are classes where doctors learn how to break bad news, 99% Invisible has the story (and it’s funnier than you think). Also, Baby Boomers, you can’t get a break. Apparently you all broke America, and here’s how. Oh, and the new aristocracy is here, and it’s not the 1%. Meet the 9.9%
  5. It’s amazing how little so many parents know before they become parents, and the emotional labor people (especially women) go through goes pretty unrecognized too. And reading about it, while helpful, isn’t the same as hands-on experience. But reading a book once a day is great for you, and here are 8 books every manager should read


💰 = Paywall, though please do consider paying to read what people write. Writers like to eat too. (Apologies if I miss one…) 

How to give advice 💁
Occasionally, though not often, people will ask me for advice. It’s simultaneously a wonderful and gut-wrenching feeling. It feels wonderful to have my opinion valued and my life experience validated. It also feels gut-wrenching in that I'm automatically seized with the thought: what on Earth do *I* know about anything?! 

I know some things and a lot of nothing, frankly, so when people ask me for advice, my first instinct is to freeze. Also, because I feel mixed about giving advice, I’m also reluctant to ask for it. Though, experience has taught me that it’s better to ask for advice and input rather than go running into walls others could easily identify for you.  
So, here are a few tricks I’ve learned when it comes to giving advice:  

  1. When people ask you for advice, ask them more about their situation. Answer the question with a question. Usually, they know exactly what they should do, they just need you to tease it out for them.  
  2. Always note that you’re referencing your lived experience, and give them any advice you pass on in that context. You don’t know what Bob, Susan or Jill went through — you just know what you went through.  
  3. Problem-solve with the person. Try to figure out the problem they are trying to solve and try to solve it with them. Don’t be a bystander. Get in the mess with them.  

Then again, my advice is to come up with your own principles for giving advice, not that you asked me. 😉  

Thank you a million times...
Thank you to my long-time donor Natalya Pemberton! Natalya is a culture and design enthusiast learning Sustainable Systems at the innovative Presidio Graduate School.

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good advice?
Emi Kolawole · E is for Everything HQ · Palo Alto California 94306 · USA
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