It's all about...
I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. 
– Maya Angelou 
The five:

  1. How are your friends contributing to your life? How about you yourself? Here are seven time wasters to quit if you want to grow your own company and here’s how to “hack your mornings” because procrastinators brains are different from those who get things done. If that has you feeling frustrated, pause for a moment and learn about how feelings have taken over the world. Social interactions have their perils, though, so look out! Then, on the other hand, here is the history of the western problem of loneliness and a look at the big economic threat facing us in the not-too-distant future (hint: it has to do with babies … and the fact we’re not having enough.) If you’re on the fence about having babies because you’re afraid it will ruin your career or the career of the woman in your life. Stop. Babies don’t ruin women’s careers — men do (though I would argue it’s not men, it’s the societal expectations we put on men and women that retard their mutual growth and the growth of their families and careers). 
  2. Here are some of the “best” places to travel this fall, but, while you’re traveling, consider embracing the pain of paying and know that the bike lanes you encounter in the U.S. are likely designed wrong. But speaking of embracing, there’s a danger to being nice. Here are three reframing strategies to win at tricky negotiations and here’s a decision matrix to prioritize what matters. Sleep matters a lot, and we may finally have a cure for insomnia.  
  3. If you’re looking for a nerdtastic long-read, here is the entire history of steel. Also, apparently elephants have a secret weapon against cancer. Speaking of life, here’s how to be a good Dad even if you didn’t have one, and here’s how to deal with a crisis, and here’s why capitalism makes us feel empty inside
  4. I love curry and Mars missions, so I, of course, love this story. Meanwhile, if you’re trying to take on a creative undertaking, don’t seclude yourself, and having a growth mindset makes it easier to develop new interests. Also, nostalgia can be good for you
  5. If you manage a team, make sure you give them the freedom to do the work they think matters most, and don’t waste their time (as too many bosses do), and make sure you’re on top of the new trend of helping your employees map their careers, and whether you’re a manager or a worker bee, when you’re waking up, set your alarm to the exact part of Morning Edition on NPR you want to listen to. Or immerse your brain in a book. If you choose to do so, this is what happens to your brain (and here is a great list of National Book Award contenders to choose from). Also, here’s the reason facts don’t change our minds. Take this fact for example: Americans want to believe jobs are the solution to poverty … but they’re not. also, perseverance beats talent.   

💰 = Paywall, though please do consider paying to read what people write. Writers like to eat too. (Apologies if I miss one…) 

How to host a picnic 🌳
I was terrified all of last week. I hadn’t hosted a get-together in years, and I had ambitiously planned a Saturday picnic for me and about a dozen or so friends.  

Would the weather hold? 

Would I have enough food? 

Would people have a good time? 

There’s something about holding a space for other people that is simultaneously rewarding, exhilarating, and stressful as all get out. So, I did what any reasonable person would do for the entire week: I procrastinated. I held out on shopping for food, supplies, or anything I might need to be able to host the best possible picnic.  

I knew I needed a few staples, a blanket, some food, things that I could use to make and manipulate a BBQ fire.  

All of that being said, I had zero plan.  

Then the night before, I panicked. I went out and bought over $100 worth of stuff, picking through the aisles for anything that looked remotely picnic-y. Thankfully, my boyfriend was having none of my desire to go all out and break the bank. So, I managed to keep things within reason. He also insisted we bike to the park rather than take a shared ride there. That significantly reduced the amount of stuff I was on track to buy.  

Eventually, the fateful day came, and we were biking through our Northern California neighborhood to the park. I was convinced one of two things would happen - no one would show up, or, if anyone did show up, they would have a terrible time.  

Thankfully, there was an open BBQ range just inside the park entrance. Next to it was a lovely, sunny patch of grass. There are also two trees that were perfect for slack-lining, which two friends kindly set up and coached people through.  

We ended up with a very nice group — not too big, and not too small. The fire was just hot enough, and the food was delicious (and there was still way too much of it). We sat in the sun, talked about life, balanced on the slack line, and generally crowded around the fire (as humans are wont to do).  

Then, at a reasonable hour, everyone went home.  

The human mind has an incredible capacity to imagine the worst, but I find that those who recognize but don’t succumb to that instinct (in other words, they prepare for the worst and hope for the best) are truly successful.  

While I could have prepared earlier, I’m pleased to have learned, yet again, that the worst is only worth acknowledging — never worth focusing on.  
Thank you a million times...
Thank you so much to my long-time donor Natalya Pemberton! Natalya is a culture and design enthusiast learning Sustainable Systems at the innovative Presidio Graduate School.

She has generously supported E is for Everything on Patreon. Please jump on through to learn more about how you can support this newsletter too.
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...the 🔥.
Emi Kolawole · E is for Everything HQ · Palo Alto California 94306 · USA
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